This is a very clever piece written by R.Bush (who is a wonderful writer) on his musings on probate court, the guardianship process and Kris Kringle.
Since it’s the third day of Christmas, I find it appropriate.
From Rudy Busy:
“What will we all do when the court appointed guardians, conservators, and trustees come for Santa Claus?
When the guardians come for Santa Claus, Santa Claus will be taken out of his igloo in handcuffs, he will be put on a diet, and given psychotropic drugs for his anxiety at the fact Rudolph will have nobody to shine his nose, in London the rosy red cheeks of the little children will turn to dust, in the United States the flame will be out on the Statue of Liberty . . . and the United States government will release a press announcement stating it was done, “in his best interest,” and will officially declare yet another holiday, in place of Christmas, to celebrate more good work by the United States government.”
Rudy Bush (© 2013, copyright R Bush, all rights reserved)
My version of Santa and the 18th floor of the Daley center:
when they come for santa:
Dr. Rabin will stand outside his igloo and say he is a friend and just wants to talk to him. When santa tells him to go away he is busy making presents for the kids and answering letters from around the world, Rabin will declare him delusional and paranoid. (LV case) Santa will then be arrested and hauled away to a locked facility where he will be drugged so much he forgets to eat and wastes away. (AG case)
In the meantime, a court appointed GAL and probate attorney will take control of all the toys and the village. Elves will be turned over to social services as deformed, disabled children and be put in group homes against their will and also will be drugged. The state connected agency will then get $300k/year/elf to “care for special needs children” even though Mrs. Claus says she can take them in and has her RN degree with years of experience caring for elves. (NV case)
Toys and village sold, no more need for debates over whether santa is real or not.
The Office of Public Guardain (TB) will declare “Santa existed for far too long in the community when he should have been institutionalized and those annoying myths killed years ago.”
And the government will declare another holiday celebrating those who “died for freedom” (like rape for love), where Christmas used to be.